A few months ago, a young person pulled me aside during a retreat I was working on, and asked: “Dr. Karchunas, I am thinking about coming out to my family soon. Do you have any advice for me?”

I have received questions like these countless times from students, young adults, and even people older than me: “I am gay- will my family still love me? Will God still love me? Will I be happy?” But, these are questions that I never take for granted, because about seven years ago, I was asking them myself. It’s never lost on me that I know how to respond to these questions because of what has happened to me in my own life.

As a queer Catholic, my journey has been complicated and challenging; the path of accepting myself has been filled with trials. I have lost the love of friends who wouldn’t accept me, experienced discrimination at the hands of the Church, heard painful remarks and judgments by others, lost out on job opportunities, and felt deep despair and loneliness. During these times, I found myself asking “Why? Why does this have to happen to me?”

Liturgically, the time after Easter is a season in which the Church participates in mystagogy, a kind of reflection where we look back and sift through all that has happened to Jesus, his followers, and ourselves during Lent. If Easter is the season in which we ask ourselves, “What just happened?”, the Ascension challenges us to ask “What are we to do with what just happened to us?” The feast of the Ascension challenges us to ask ourselves some difficult questions about the journeys of our lives, especially the journey of our faith lives: Life is difficult, challenging, confusing. How are we supposed to cope? How are we going to continue on after all that’s happened to us? What are we supposed to do with our most challenging, complicated moments of our lives?

Consider for a moment all that the disciples of Jesus had experienced over the last weeks: the violence of seeing their beloved friend suffer and die. The sadness and grief at the loss of their friend. The confusion and disbelief of the empty tomb. The ecstasy of realizing the resurrection. The wrestling with seeing their friend again—this time with healed wounds. The joy of being reunited with someone they loved so much. And now, just when they were getting used to being with Jesus again, he leaves.

What the disciples experienced was traumatic, overwhelming, and confusing. Just as they were beginning to make sense of what happened, Jesus ascends to the Father, leaving the disciples on their own again. They have likely experienced a range of complex emotions in a short span of time, and now they have to adjust to a new reality again. Figuring out what their day-to-day life looks like, much less their divine calling, is complicated and confusing. How are they supposed to continue on? How are they supposed to make sense of all they have been through? What are they supposed to do with what has happened to them?

The readings for this feast give us clues.

To the question, “What do we do with the things that have happened to us?” Luke’s Gospel answers with a role we are called to live out: “You are witnesses of these things.” What does it mean to be a witness? It means to have personally experienced something and provide testimony. It’s what the disciples were called to do after the Ascension, and it is what we are called to do with the events of our lives. Jesus leaves, the complicated memories of the events of his passion fade, but the disciples are called to preach the Paschal mystery. So to it is with us- we make it through the difficult times in our lives, but we are not called to stand idly, looking at the sky. We are called to be witnesses of God’s love through our own lives.

What does being a witness to God’s love look like? It is saying through our actions to others “I am loved by God, and so are you.” For me, it means sharing my story and my reflections on the path of my own life by writing, speaking, and faith sharing. It means sharing how I survived, what got me through the most difficult moments of my life, and where God was present in it all. It means honoring the people who have loved me, accepted me, and healed me on my journey of self-understanding- people like my friends, my loved ones, coworkers, mentors, and even Pope Francis himself, who helped carve out a space for me in the Church. It means accompanying others because I was first accompanied myself. It means reassuring a young person that they will not only be okay, but that they are unconditionally loved by God because of their identity, not in spite of it. It means that, when I walk with another member of the LGBTQ+ community through on their journey, I recall how not too long ago, I was in their shoes. I recall that the distance between myself and the queer person I accompany are the things that happened to me and how I survived them. What do I do with the things that happen to me? I bear witness to them.

Each time I have a conversation with another queer person who searching for answers about their identity, I can’t help but recall what I have lived through: the loneliness, the pain, the discrimination, the judgment, but also the joy, the unconditional love, and the acceptance. I am honest about the pain I have experienced, and I also share what it has meant for me to learn that I am loved by God, just as I am.

What am I called to do with the things that have happened to me? I am called to be a witness- a witness to my own experiences, and a witness to the love of those who have helped live through those experiences. I am called to bear witness to my own story. For me, I am called to bear witness to the hope that belongs to God’s call to me, a queer Catholic. When we experience suffering or confusing and complicated events in our lives, it can be easy to turn away from asking deeper questions because of the pain we have experienced. However, the Ascension calls us to consider allowing what happens to us become a part of our story and call.

What are you still making sense of in your life that has happened to you? What are you called to be a witness of? What will you do with what has happened to you?