When I was a high school student, I received a detention because I skipped a tutoring session that had been arranged for me. Although the details of what happened are now vague, the impact of the discipline I received was formative for my character. I knew I had a good excuse for skipping, but I was disciplined with a detention because I didn’t tell anyone why I couldn’t go. I simply didn’t show up.

Recently, a colleague told me that I am very communicative person. So now I wonder if the correction I received as a teen helped me to be more mindful of how my actions impact others. Maybe it’s because of the discipline I received when I was in high school that I value strong communication as an adult.

When discipline is offered justly and with the kindness and hospitality of God—our loving parent—we are given the graces we need to for spiritual deepening, personal development and global solidarity.

During all of our lives we each endure trials and suffering. How we handle such hardships says a lot about our character—about our strengths, weaknesses, and perceptions. The struggles can be formative, influencing our character development, our futures. And each trial can be an opportunity for intimacy with Christ.

I had a serious accident—a fall off a cliff that broke many of my bones—when I was a young adult. Today, I remember the depth of gratitude for the love and good healthcare I experienced more than the pain and suffering.

I don’t believe my accident was God’s will, nor that my accident happened because I needed to be disciplined for a misbehavior. Yet, the suffering became a teacher. The trial taught me lessons of love. The disturbance and discomfort of the brokenness and recovery deepened my intimacy with Christ and increased my compassion for others who suffer. The healing journey was transformative, strengthening my desire to proclaim God’s goodness.

Our God is a God who disciplines us, Scripture says. Yet when it comes to understanding the discipline that God offers us, we may need to erase our ideas. God is bigger than our limited understanding. God’s discipline reveals relationship, intimacy. Our God is close to us, knowing and holding our suffering. The discipline comes from God it is never punitive. Rather, it is instructive, formative. God is kind, Scripture says.

And God is always inviting us to deepen spiritually: to notice and reverence how our wounds connect us to the wounds of the Body of Christ throughout the world. God is interested in our growth and development, hoping that our hardships help us to become more fully the person God made us to be.

Plus, God is always inviting us into Oneness. Our struggles can unite us with the suffering body of Christ in Gaza, Ukraine, Myanmar, and Sudan. The body of Christ is broken and wounded in detention centers, soup kitchens, shelters, prisons and hospitals.

When we go through trials, it is not about us. We don’t develop strength so we feel good, so we gain a sense of survival or achievement. Rather the invitation from the God of love is  to deepen our compassion and solidarity with the body of Christ wounded throughout the world.

When I received that detention back in high school, the discipline helped me to grow into a more respectful adult. The teacher who assigned the detention certainly cared about me and knew my potential. The consequence of my misbehavior was effective at helping me grow because it was gentle and I learned from my mistake.

With God as our loving parent, the discipline we receive is for our inner growth and our compassion for others. God holds us in our hardships and is constantly inviting us to grow and learn, to be in unity with the broken body of Christ throughout the world. Thanks be to God!