I grew up in the South, where there were lots of rules around what we could wear to Sunday Mass. No drawstrings, no jeans; any shorts, dresses, and skirts had to be longer than your fingertips; shoulders must be covered, etc.

I remember constantly complaining, especially as my 10-year-old tomboy self was forced into another frilly dress. I would say that the God we learned about in school didn’t seem like someone who would care what we wear. God is endlessly loving and merciful, right? Jesus prioritizes the poor, flips tables, tells off the Pharisees … I don’t think he would care whether my shoulders were covered or not. I still think I had some valid points for a 10 year old theologian.

That’s part of why this week’s gospel is so troubling for many of us. Jesus tells us a parable of a King - representing God - who seems to be more angry and vengeful than loving and merciful.

In the parable, the King is throwing a wedding feast for his son, so he sends his servants out to hand deliver the invitations. At first, the guests refuse to come. So the king sends out his servants again, reminding the guests that everything is prepared and ready, they just need to show up. Some of them ignore the invitation and choose to go to work instead. Others decide to just go ahead and kill the servants who brought the invitations. In response, the king sends his troops to kill the murderers and burn their entire cities.

Then, the King sends his servants to invite anyone out on the roads to the wedding feast. The good, the bad, the poor, the rich. All are welcome. This is behavior we can get on board with, right? Sounds a little more like our God.

But then the King finds a man at the feast not dressed in proper wedding attire. The man has no answer for why he is dressed this way, so the King tells his servants to bind the man and cast him out into the darkness, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth. Just a tad harsh towards someone who didn’t abide by the dress code. Needless to say, this parable can be quite confusing if taken literally. But let’s take a step back.

In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus is telling this story to the chief priests and elders at the Temple in Jerusalem. Just before this, he was flipping tables of money lenders, healing the blind, and cursing fig trees. The chief priests were not thrilled about the stir Jesus was causing and began to publicly question him and his authority. He responds with parables about the Kingdom and final judgement, calling out the religious leaders’ hypocrisy and their tendency to cast judgement on the marginalized. They apparently weren’t really getting it, because this is the third parable Jesus tells in a row, which may be why he felt like he needed to tell a story that was a bit more shocking, that really got these guys to listen.

Keeping in mind that Jesus was perhaps trying to add some dramatic flare, and that parables shouldn’t necessarily be interpreted literally, helps us better understand what’s going on here. Within the parable, it’s also helpful to remember what a big deal this feast would have been. It’s the wedding of the king’s son. Can you imagine getting a hand delivered invitation to the royal wedding, and ignoring it or saying “No, I’m good, I have some work to catch up on?” Then you get a second invite, and you murder the mailman?

Throughout the Old Testament, the wedding feast is a common symbol of the Kingdom of God - the chief priests would have certainly recognized this as a parable about the Kingdom and final judgment. Jesus is reminding them, and all of us, just how irrational it is to reject God’s free invitation to participate in God’s Kingdom. And that when we do reject this invitation, and turn instead towards worldly desires, preoccupations, and systems of violence, there are repercussions. I don’t think Jesus is saying that God is going to burn down our houses and cities (in fact, the burning of the cities is likely a reference to the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem by the Romans in 70 AD).  But rather, he is reminding us that when we live not as participants in God’s Kingdom but instead as participants in the structures of sin, poverty, violence, and oppression which actively oppose the coming of God’s Kingdom here on earth, we shouldn’t be surprised when we are met with death and destruction.

The ecumenical church is in the middle of celebrating the Season of Creation, remembering our calling to be stewards of God’s earth. Just think about the structures and systems that the wealthiest nations have invested in … should we really be surprised that forests are burning, that clean water is disappearing, and that extreme weather is worsening, given our systemic reliance on fossil fuels, endless cycles of consumption and waste, and disregard for the most vulnerable? This isn’t a wrathful punishment from God, it’s a consequence of our actions. It’s no wonder that the Kingdom of God described in both our first reading and in the Gospel feels so far away.

However, this parable also reminds us that what our systems of power reject and oppose, we can still embrace and build up. We can participate in God’s abundant feast here and now. Remember, the king wasn’t sending a save the date for some party years in the future - it’s a feast going on right now. Come join, he says! There is more than enough to go around, and all are welcome.

There’s only one catch - and I don’t think it’s really about dress code. Jesus is very clear throughout the gospels that you don’t need to be rich or have a black-tie appropriate outfit to attend this feast of the Kingdom, far from it. It doesn’t matter what you show up in, but it does matter how you show up. We are asked to show up with arms open to God’s grace and love, open to one another, ready to be active participants in the Kingdom. I imagine this man without a wedding garment wasn’t really present at the wedding, if you know what I mean. Maybe he was sneering and judging people’s dancing from the corner or doing the first century version of scrolling on his phone the whole time. Maybe he was in the right place, with the right people, even saying the right things, much like some of the chief priests and elders. But spiritually? He was just like those who rejected the invitation in the first place, refusing to truly participate in the Kingdom.

So, no, I still don’t think that God cares if we wear jeans to church, but if dressing a little nicer is a way to prepare ourselves for entering a space where we are going to receive God and celebrate with our brother and sisters in Christ, then I sure do get where my mom was coming from when she made me put on those dresses. But let us remember that we are invited to be active participants in God’s Kingdom not just inside the walls of the church, but everywhere we go. Let us accept, every day, God’s invitation to this feast of abundance, and reject the temptation to participate in systems of death, destruction, and oppression. Let us dare to show up, not perfectly dressed or without flaws, but with openness, with willingness, clothed in garments of grace and love, and ready to dance.