Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’ Mt 5:37. The Feast of the Immaculate Conception often celebrates Mary’s “Yes.” Let’s reverse that thought and ask ourselves, “What would it mean to give a resounding “No” in our lives?” In today’s culture, many of us suffer from FOMO- the fear of missing out and so we say Yes – to every invitation, every activity, every opportunity that comes our way without true discernment. Women especially can feel a pressure to say Yes to everyone, everything, all the time.

What if we claim the idea that there is freedom and power in our No. That saying No to something in our lives makes space for the Holy Spirit to enter in and invite us to a bigger Yes to something that is stirring within us, something new which God desires to birth in and through us. If we don’t say No to things, there is no space for freedom, there is no space to ponder, no space to be open to listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit, no freedom to discern.

Mary’s Annunciation experience weaves through many familiar feelings for anyone who has been faced with a big decision and who takes a moment (or more) to notice the movement of the Holy Spirit within the proposition. At the angel’s Gabriel’s initial greeting, Mary is “greatly troubled.” When have you felt troubled, even when the decision before you was between two goods- knowing that either choice would have a lasting impact.

Next Mary moves to a place of “pondering” and questioning, “How, how can this be??,” Have you made space in your life to sit with a big question and let it lead to more questions… Do you lean into long walks, sitting in silence in your favorite sacred space, journaling, spiritual conversation with a trusted companion…

Here in the story Gabriel offers Mary a message of consolation from God and she listens intently. What does listening to God (or God’s messengers) look like for you? Do you desire more space for that kind of deep listening?

The familiar story ends with Mary’s Consent. “May it be done to me according to your word.” I imagine a great pause in between the angel’s final words, “Nothing will be impossible for God.” and her Consent. In some ways, the freedom, the space she had created in her life before this moment, probably saying “No” to more than a few invitations- had given her the posture and readiness to respond in the affirmative in this situation.

When I let my imagination run with this story, I wonder, what if there was another woman, at an earlier time and place in history, who said “No.” to this same request from God - to be the God-bearer in the world. Today, I would like to honor this woman, all those she represents, as well.

Spiritual writer Shannon Evans in her new book, The Mystics Would Like a Word speaks to the benefit of creating space for the Spirit: “Human instinct is to stick to what we know, stick to what is 'like us,' stick to a sense of felt safety. That is natural, sure. But it doesn’t help us grow, doesn’t leave much room for the Spirit to do a new thing in us. Responding instead to new ideas with curiosity and sincere questions helps us discern what to pick up and bring along on our journey, and what to respectfully leave behind" (pg. 108).

On this feast of the Immaculate Conception, let us remind ourselves that authentic discernment requires freedom and space. Let us ponder how we can imitate the freedom with which Mary discerned a big question. Loving God, draw us more deeply into the practice of discernment. Give us the freedom to listen to the stirring of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Allow us to feel all the feels- let us be troubled, let us ponder, let us question, let us listen… and in the end, let our Yes mean Yes and our No mean No- all for your greater Glory. Amen.

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